When kids make a mistake, there are two possible approaches.

1. Reprimand or punish and fix the problem yourself – keeps the child dependent on you.
2. An alternative to punishment: Show how to make amends – delegates responsibility and encourages independent action.

Akashi is six years old. At a dinner party, in the middle of playing, he spilled some Coke that flowed onto the hardwood floor. I went to get a towel. “Here you go!” I said as I threw it to him. He caught it, and wiped the spill, and then stood up to continue playing. He did an incomplete job. I continued with showing, rather than lecturing. “You missed some here.” I said. He wiped, and there was still a little around the table leg. “I’ll lift the table leg as you wipe.” I did so, and he wiped up the remaining Coke.

“Good job.” I said.

End result:

• Less work for me.
• Akashi made amends.
• We both feel good about each other.

Posted in Parenting
1 Comment Posted by Jason Yang